What I did do today was buy the film "Ordinary People." If you have not seen this film, you probably should. It won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director (Robert Redford), Best Supporting Actor (Timothy Hutton) and Best Adapted Screenplay. It was released in 1980 (which I realize isn't exactly recent) but is a fantastic and still quite pertinent film. The film is the journey of an ordinary suburban family facing the death of the oldest of two sons in a boating accident. The family features an out of touch mother (Mary Tyler Moore), a caring but somewhat fumbling father (Donald Sutherland) and a troubled son dealing with the death of his brother. I'm not one to reccomend or decide I like a film simply because it's a classic. My boyfriend can certainly attest to this. This is actually just an amazing film.
As I write this, I am discussing with my boyfriend how the church he is a member of doesn't allow gays to become ministers and in fact believes that a homosexual orientation is against "God's plan" (notice the clever way they ignore whether or not it's a sin. Since these people are of course having daily meetings with God, I'm sure they're well aware of all aspects of "The Plan.") This is one of those things we don't agree on. If I were in his position, I would have left that particular denomination and found a more accepting one. I tend to believe that there's no one right church (see my post on how people screwed it all up) and so I'd have no problem moving to a church that welcomes all members for all positions. My boyfriend however, is the type to give it time and hope he can eventually change things. My whole position since coming out has been, for religion and otherwise, that I don't owe anyone anything. I don't owe an explanation. You don't have to like me, or support me, and largely, I will fight for gay rights but I refuse to waste my time with organizations or people that can't pull their heads out of their asses and treat everyone with respect. It is one of the many reasons I no longer consider myself Catholic. If you are so self-righteous and ignorant that you can't understand that being gay is not a choice, then I really have no interest in wasting my time dealing with you. I think when I first came out, I wanted to try to change people's opinions. I've since realized that my own well-being and the respect I have for myself are infinitely more important than the opinions of stupid people.
2 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more about how you feel since you've come out and why you can no longer associate with the Catholic Church. I feel the same way.
Good for people to know.
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