Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy New Year!

I cannot for the life of me believe that in less than 28 hours it will be 2010. I'm not at all sure how that managed to happen.

In the past, I've posted New Year's resolutions here with the hopes that actually sharing the resolutions might cause me to be more likely to stick to them. Turns out that plan was pretty useless and so I'll opt to not bore you with things I'm hardly likely to stick to for more than a month.

In other news, I currently have Glee on the TV in the background. I started out really disliking this show. And it still irks me with its overly stereotypical portrayals of all of the characters from the jock, to the cheerleaders, to the student who uses the wheelchair, to the obligatory gay kid. Yet, somehow, it has grown on me. I don't think the music is all that good, but it's not bad. And, I have to admit, Finn, the football player isn't so bad to look at.

I hope everyone has an excellent New Year's holiday and a great start to 2010.

Monday, December 21, 2009

It's Thursday...sort of...

So tomorrow is my last working day this week.  It will be nice to have a few days off to really enjoy the upcoming Christmas holiday.

After posting for the first time in forever last week, I got to thinking about why I've decided to come back here, and why now.  I think it's because some of the same issues and topics I discussed and covered a couple of years ago when I began this project have again re-surfaced, though at a new level.  With that in mind, I think the primary reason I'm looking for somewhere to post my thoughts is because I've begun to think about coming out again.  I think many people believe coming out to be a one time event: as if it's something you can do once, and never have to address again.  Coming out however, seems to be more of a process.  It can take place over a short or long period of time and may occur once or many times over the course of one's life. 

As some of you who have read here in the past might know, and as others may have guessed from the title, I am not totally in (or out) of the closet.  I was completely out at college when I graduated.  I am out to close friends and to my immediate, and some extended, family.  I am out to one person at work.  I am not completely in or out at school.  I think some people know and some do not.  It doesn't really come up as I only spend time there once a week. 

I have decided that the time might be right for me to move towards fully being out.  I cannot explain to others why this is so important to me but I have reached somewhat of a breaking point.  The stress and frustration of not being able to fully share my life with others has been too much over too long.  While I think there are areas of my life (EMS) for example that will be more difficult for me to do this in, there are others (work and school) where I do not think it would be much of a factor or may even be a strength.  I hope that this blog will serve as a jumping off point then; a place to share thoughts, frustrations, feelings, progress, and all of the exciting, scary, and confusing aspects of this process.

I am not sure if I will post again before the holiday.  If I do not, I wish all of my readers the very best Christmas imaginable.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Back? Maybe?

Hi all,

So I'd be suprised if anyone is still visiting here.  My apologies to anyone who was attached that felt abandoned.  It was not my intention to ditch this project, it just sort of happened.  I think perhaps as things changed in life, this blog was no longer serving the purpose it started with.  In any case, I'm feeling some need to come back to it now.  I can't quite explain why, but here I am.  I'm lucky I even remember the password as it's apparently been well over a year...

If anyone has found themselves back here who might have been reading in the past, I'll give you some updates.

The job: I'm now in a high level management position at my agency.  Not sure how that happened, but hey, if they offer to pay you more to do something, it's hard to say no, even if you're not quite sure (or at all sure) you're qualified.

School: I'm now halfway done with my masters degree.  It's a very credity heavy counseling program, but a good program and I am largely enjoying it, though not always the work that come with it.

Love life: Dating a guy since early this past summer.

Gay life: Still mostly in the closet here.  Out to good friends and one member of my EMS agency and one co-worker.  Unfortuantely I am not out at work or in general within the EMS world.  At school, it seems to be a bit of a mixed bag.  I don't really talk about it but I don't exactly hide it either.  I think perhaps this is the reason I'm back.  I would really like to change this and am slowly making plans to do so.  Do I smell a 2010 New Year's resolution...?  Time will tell...

And now a link to something you might all enjoy at one of my favorite blogs...