Monday, December 21, 2009

It's Thursday...sort of...

So tomorrow is my last working day this week.  It will be nice to have a few days off to really enjoy the upcoming Christmas holiday.

After posting for the first time in forever last week, I got to thinking about why I've decided to come back here, and why now.  I think it's because some of the same issues and topics I discussed and covered a couple of years ago when I began this project have again re-surfaced, though at a new level.  With that in mind, I think the primary reason I'm looking for somewhere to post my thoughts is because I've begun to think about coming out again.  I think many people believe coming out to be a one time event: as if it's something you can do once, and never have to address again.  Coming out however, seems to be more of a process.  It can take place over a short or long period of time and may occur once or many times over the course of one's life. 

As some of you who have read here in the past might know, and as others may have guessed from the title, I am not totally in (or out) of the closet.  I was completely out at college when I graduated.  I am out to close friends and to my immediate, and some extended, family.  I am out to one person at work.  I am not completely in or out at school.  I think some people know and some do not.  It doesn't really come up as I only spend time there once a week. 

I have decided that the time might be right for me to move towards fully being out.  I cannot explain to others why this is so important to me but I have reached somewhat of a breaking point.  The stress and frustration of not being able to fully share my life with others has been too much over too long.  While I think there are areas of my life (EMS) for example that will be more difficult for me to do this in, there are others (work and school) where I do not think it would be much of a factor or may even be a strength.  I hope that this blog will serve as a jumping off point then; a place to share thoughts, frustrations, feelings, progress, and all of the exciting, scary, and confusing aspects of this process.

I am not sure if I will post again before the holiday.  If I do not, I wish all of my readers the very best Christmas imaginable.

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