Saturday, October 27, 2007

They Have to be Out There

Ok, so my blog is often a way for me to get some ideas out there for me and possibly other people to think about. I always really enjoy receiving comments and feedback, but I don't often specifically ask questions. I actually wish I was better at that like fellow blogger Jay who always leaves something to think about and respond to.

In this case, I'd love to hear from people because I'm a bit at a loss. Since moving home from college, I've been missing the social aspect of college a lot. Not many of my friends from high school are back in the area and most of my friends from college live an hour to two thirds of the way across the country from here. Some actually don't live in this country at all at the moment. So needless to say, I'm missing having a solid social circle. More than that, I'm missing having other gay guys to hang out with. So my question is, as a single gay guy, how do I find other gay folks to hang out with? What do other people do? I live in a suburban area so I don't have a corner gay club to go to- not that I would want to go to one alone. While I can be as easily amused as the next guy by gay.com or MySpace, I generally find that method of meeting people to be a little creepy. Does it work for other people though? Is my best bet to try and find some kind of gay social or political group? How do you, especially those of you not in school, find other gay guys.

My other little rant. I wish life was easy enough that I and all other gay guys could be "out." I'm tired of meeting or knowing other guys that make my gaydar go haywire but who are not out or don't know I'm gay or some combination. Case in point. I know a really good guy who graduated from my high school a couple of years ahead of me and now works there. He's a great guy and not bad to look at either. And he's definitely gay. It would be great to have the facts out in the open even for friendship purposes. But, of course, no such luck.

5 comments:

Jake said...

Sports teams. Gay sports teams. Community and volunteer services. Social groups (meet for coffee, happy hour, running, walking, fitness training). There are lots of ways to meet people.

Anonymous said...

I'n in the same boat. I have had some decent luck with platonic section of craigslist. Met one very cool guy and have a couple of other prospects. Good luck.

B said...

I hear ya...I moved home and don't have a ton of people I regularly see here. Plus I'm not out yet, and I live in the suburbs.

Doyler said...

I got lucky, I never returned home after University and have stayed in cities where there's never been that problem.

All my schools were boarding schools so no problem meeting other gay guys there at all. Public school system is full of them, if they're not your class mate or in your dorm chances are one's teaching you gym or english.

You're right about gaydar/Myspace, past experience for me has shown that they've only been good for one thing and that sure isn't the soul.

The problem with suburbia is that we are all hiding behind percieved normality, so unless you'r dar is spot on (and whose is?) it pretty much leaves you screwed.

Best advice I can give... get out of dodge. worked for me and my brother.

Hope you figure something out anyway. Best of luck

D

jay said...

Hey. thanks for the shoutout.

I'm going through the same thing you are. Since my friends left for graduation I've been a bit lonely and I don't really want to find guys in clubs or bars.

I know that gay sports teams, etc are an option. But I would rather just be able to meet people at starbucks or something.

Somewhere unforced.