Merry Christmas!

First off, a very Merry Christmas to all of my readers. I hope you've been off enjoying the holiday with family and friends.

While I have no intention to rant about it, because I'm sure enough other people already have. I really wish that Christmas was more relaxing and felt more like, well... Christmas. While I certainly think that time with family is important, I really wish that the time leading up to Christmas, and the holiday itself, were more relaxing, contemplative, and about what they're supposed to be about. I could go on all day about that, but I won't.

Instead, I will mention the part of Christmas that made me the happiest. Last evening I went to Christmas Eve mass at the Episcopal church that I am now very much a part of. I have never been to a more amazing Christmas service in my life. The church is an impressive piece of architecture and parts of it date to the late 1820s. It was "greened" for Christmas and looked absolutely amazing. Aside from that, the service was very high church and the attention to detail really came through. As always, the music was amazing. It made me happy to have some part of the holiday feel like it was just right. In addition to that, I should mention that I was an acolyte for the Sunday service the day before. I'm finally getting pretty involved in the church and am looking forward to being a part of things the way I was in the various Catholic churches I had been active in.

What's amazing to me, is that it was last Christmas eve that I went to mass and decided afterwards that I was through with the Catholic Church. It has now been a year since that decision and I never could have anticipated how much things would change in that time. In fact, it was mere months ago that I was blogging here about my serious confusion about Christianity and even about the existence of God. I am very grateful to the church I now find myself in for having made a real effort to get to know me and support me at a time when I needed it most.

A thank-you to all of my readers who offered input, support, or just read. You all helped in some way.

A very Merry Christmas to everyone again.

My Very, Ridiculously, Crazy Life

Hi everyone!

Thank you to those of you who have been checking the blog over the last month or so.

So where have I been?

Well, I just moved into my own apartment. Until yesterday or today, this had been taking over my life. I'm now living on my own and have the apartment pretty much set up, at least enough to be living here. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about it. Living at home had been becoming rather stressful and it felt like I'd gone back to high school. After living away from home for four years in college, I really needed to be out on my own, doing my own thing, when and I how I want to do it.

Work is also insanely busy. In order to add to that, I just got appointed to a commitee there that deals with safety issues. Gee, they put the guy whose an EMT and CPR Instructor on that?...didn't see that coming...

I'm also now playing in a local wind ensemble, which makes me happy, as I really didn't want to lose all of the work I'd put into my instrument going back to 6th grade.

Finally, I'm starting to get pretty busy at the Episcopal church that I've made my new religious home. I had a meeting with one of the priests there that went really well and that answered a lot of my questions. I'm now starting to help out as an acolyte (I had done similar stuff in the Roman Catholic churches that I'd always been a part of). I will also likely begin to start singing in one of the choirs there beginning sometime after Christmas.

On that note, I have a question for people, particularly anyone with a background in singing. While I've always enjoyed singing, I've never done it in any official capacity. I do have a musical background however and can play two instruments and understand music theory. I can look at sheet music and get a pretty good idea of how something should sound. I was offered a spot in a choir that meets every other week and is open to everyone that sings early church music and chant type songs. I do enjoy early church music and chant, so this is tempting. However, due to my musical background, the choir director also offered me a spot in the by audition Men's Choir. He did not make me audition for it. Any thoughts on which would be a better plan? I don't have time to do both. I could either sing with folks who are more likely to be on a similar level or I could sing with people who are decidedly better than me in hopes of it rubbing off (or at least being a good learning experience).

Hope all of you reading are doing well at this stressful time of year. A special thank you to someone who emailed me recently at the address I had provided. It was good to hear from you and you certainly helped motivate me to do this post, something I've been meaning to do for a little while.

At Long Last

So I just realized it's been a crazy long time since I posted. Definitely time for an update.

Work is absolutely crazy. I love my job, but it definitely keeps me on my toes. It is at times stressful since everything involves actual people who need my assistance in some small or large way. I now have been transferred a full load of clients who are now entirely my responsibility. It is at times difficult to not take things home with me and to leave my clients and work at the office, but like with the patients I treat as an EMT, it is something I am learning.

Aside from that, on the religion front, I have been weekly attending the Episcopal church that I discovered over the summer. I have also met with one of the priests there and am currently adventuring into a little reading. I've always had a head for theology and think I will really enjoy future conversations with the priest and others in the church. I am learning a fair bit as a I go, but it is occassionaly frustrating. I spent my whole life up until last winter in the Roman Catholic Church where I was extremely involved and knew so much. I now want to know as much in the Episcopal Church, but it will take some time to get there. I am fortunate in that I have a very strong Christian theological background which is helping significantly. I also look forward to becoming more involved in the parish.

More to come soon.

They Have to be Out There

Ok, so my blog is often a way for me to get some ideas out there for me and possibly other people to think about. I always really enjoy receiving comments and feedback, but I don't often specifically ask questions. I actually wish I was better at that like fellow blogger Jay who always leaves something to think about and respond to.

In this case, I'd love to hear from people because I'm a bit at a loss. Since moving home from college, I've been missing the social aspect of college a lot. Not many of my friends from high school are back in the area and most of my friends from college live an hour to two thirds of the way across the country from here. Some actually don't live in this country at all at the moment. So needless to say, I'm missing having a solid social circle. More than that, I'm missing having other gay guys to hang out with. So my question is, as a single gay guy, how do I find other gay folks to hang out with? What do other people do? I live in a suburban area so I don't have a corner gay club to go to- not that I would want to go to one alone. While I can be as easily amused as the next guy by gay.com or MySpace, I generally find that method of meeting people to be a little creepy. Does it work for other people though? Is my best bet to try and find some kind of gay social or political group? How do you, especially those of you not in school, find other gay guys.

My other little rant. I wish life was easy enough that I and all other gay guys could be "out." I'm tired of meeting or knowing other guys that make my gaydar go haywire but who are not out or don't know I'm gay or some combination. Case in point. I know a really good guy who graduated from my high school a couple of years ahead of me and now works there. He's a great guy and not bad to look at either. And he's definitely gay. It would be great to have the facts out in the open even for friendship purposes. But, of course, no such luck.

The Good, the Bad, and the...ok, there wasn't any ugly...yet...

So today at work was the absolute perfect example of everything I love about my job and what I hate about it (which is really rather minor so far).

The part I love...My schedule today involved a few hours of paperwork. I then visited a client before going home for lunch. I ate lunch and took a 20 minute nap at home before going straight to a worksite to visit a client. I wrapped up the day with some emailing and a staff meeting. I love the way I get to plan out my own day and don't have to spend all of my time at a desk.

The bad part...Much of my paperwork was the result of a crisis situation in which we had to deal with an irrate client and her parents. The state is now conducting a review of both their handling and our handling of the case. I can honestly say that we did everything we were supposed to and then some on our end. From what I can tell, it also looks like the state did what they were supposed to. It's very frustrating to be a non-profit dedicated to helping people but to have to put up with those who need and request the help but do not appreciate our effort. Furthermore, we're now forced to take up valuable time that could be spent on other clients to deal with the ridiculousness.

Oh well, such is life in social services. Overall, I still love what I'm doing and it's going very well. I'm now really starting to do work on my own and that too is proving to be a fun adventure.

The Answer is No

So my third week is going as well as the last two weeks. I'm still really enjoying the work and will start to be operating on my own more in the near future. The work is definitely very tiring, but no one said social services would be easy and it's nice to see that the work matters.

Today I did get one of those questions I hate. A co-worker (who I really do like) asked me if there was a significant woman in my life. Not significant other, but significant woman. Now the fact is that I am single right now and so the answer is no to either question, but I wish people would leave the door open by asking if there was any special person. This is definitely not the first time I've received this question. Assuming I wanted to be out to my co-workers and did have a significant other, the only way to honestly answer would involve making them pretty uncomfortable. Well, I do have a boyfriend...The amusing thing is that I'm working in a social services position, a field largely dominated in my experience by women and gay men. Oh well. It'll take time I guess.

Week 2

So I've now finished my second week in the real world, and the most notable aspect of this, is that I'm tired. I have a sudden new found appreciation for weekends. But, while it was a tiring week, it was generally a good a week. Yesterday also happened to be the first pay day and so it has really started to feel like I've entered the working world. I'm still really exciting to be working at this particular place and my co-workers have been fantastic in helping me to learn the ropes.

On a completely different note, I saw the movie Across the Universe last night. This is the one that's essentially a musical with Beatles songs. Two of the main characters are named Jude and Lucy, so that should give you a big clue of what at least two of the songs were. While hearing that many Beatles songs was fantastic, the movie was very strange and at many points, I am sure those involved with making it had to have been on some illicit substance(s). I don't think I'll be running to the store when it comes out on DVD, but it was interesting nonetheless.